Without Ever Opening My Eyes

In the morning I wake and I'm shivering
   The wind trapped between my house and the bay window makes a familiar sound  
It wakes me but the shivering keeps me awake
I listen to the birds outside and try to count how many there are
   just by listening to the chorus they were all singing
I never really knew if what they say about birds was true
  about how they can only hear the chirping of their own kind
Sometimes that just seems so sad to me
the way they all sung, like a choir together without ever knowing it

Listening closer still I can hear the sound of a chainsaw
   and it cuts right through me
Bringing my sunrise chorus to an abrupt end and replacing it with
the teeth of the chain as it rounds the blade and shreds through wood and bark
  and the sound of mother nature as she weeps for her early morning miracles
I feel bad for her and try to apologize for everything
   but that task is a daunting one and I am sleepy still

There's the hum of my ceiling fan that buzzes above me
   It gives my bedroom life, and acts as a net, wrangling all the sounds together
Like that faint hiss you can only get when a needle hits vinyl
   that warms it all up and holds you tight
The fan blades spin and provide the tempo with each rotation

The only other sound I can hear is of my own lungs
   as they fill up and deflate in perfectly awkward timing
On my inhale, with my eyes shut, I can hear the roll of waves getting ready to swallow a shore
   On my exhale, the sound as they blanket the sand and retreat back ever so stealthy
For a moment I'm standing on a beach right before sunrise and I cannot see a thing

I trick myself into thinking I can hear my heart knocking on my chest plate
   And I can't tell if it's asking to be let out or if it's trying to break out
It all makes me want to jump headfirst into the sky, the clouds seem quiet
   But for some reason I recall learning the opposite
In a small way, I hope they're louder than we all think
   So when I get up there they can drown out all the noise down here