Friday, March 13, 2009

Merman

I look better on paper. I just wanted to let you know before you keep reading.
I'm much taller in person too. Not like I used to be but I can't stop shrinking.
There was a time that I would walk into a room and take a panoramic look over everyones head.
I was taller and stood up straighter. Circulation was better when I displayed good posture.
It helped out with the monopoly my heart had on the blood in my body but mutiny took place and now there are strict regulations regarding blood flow. My brain missed the meeting and my heart just doesn't get enough to pump the way it used to anymore.
My conscious was most likely keeping it busy from noticing what was actually going on.
For a while, in my life, I would never be a room for more than few minutes without locating where and how far every exit was from me at all times.
My secrets had a life of their own. They lived a more lavish life than I did and I began to grow envious. They had their friends and I had mine. The two groups never met.
I remember a day that they fenced me in and I was neck deep in ash and water with my back against a make believe wall.
Self-reflection came quicker than I would've thought so I learned to swim. But there are no exits when you're surrounded by water and I should have noticed that sooner. I slipped up, lost it for a while. My shoulders began to feel the water pressure pushing down on my entire body. It was the first weight that buckled my knees, even without a floor underneath me. I sank but it was a civil attack and my surroundings sank too, providing me with a clean slate.
Who knew I could breathe underwater?